A longer post today, (sorry!), but this past week there have been two main changes in my life which have made me face things which I was worried or scared of doing beforehand for fear of the unknown:
Last Wednesday was a day that I had been dreading for a couple of months now. I say dreading but although I was terrified, at the same time I was so excited. It was the day of my driving test! The nights before the test, I was just go over in my head all the things that could possibly go wrong in it, and panic myself senseless, not able to sleep. However, I realised that if I passed, it was going to be the beginning of my newly-found freedom, as I would be able to travel around on my own accord. The hours before my test I wasn’t too sure what I was feeling as it was a whole mix of emotions; wanting to get it over and done with, but not wanting to mess it up and have to wait a number of months for another test (yes, the waiting list is that long at my Test Centre!).
Good news though, I passed first time! Whoop whoop! The first two days I was petrified of going from driving with my parents always being there to just driving around by myself, and I was nowhere near confident enough to do so. However, since then I have been driving to numerous places by myself, including driving to and from school today for the first time which was exciting… but scary (as there is a big roundabout which just scares the life out of me as you can’t see the other side, and the cars come around the roundabout so fast off the bypass!).
So although it was TERRIFYING to begin with, I realised that I had been driving for about five months now, and although there has always been someone with me, the examiner wouldn’t have passed me if she didn’t think I was ready. So I just tried to push through the mental barrier which I had put up, and I took small steps towards driving around by myself which really helped.
I also started an Associate Programme on Saturday, at one of the main dancing/ Musical Theatre colleges in London, which I successfully auditioned for at the beginning of the year, with my friend H. I was really nervous before we started, as we weren’t sure what to expect: we are taking Contemporary, Ballet, Singing and Jazz classes and:
1. Ballet just isn’t my preferred style of dance
2. I don’t have the confidence to sing by myself, so I was worried that the singing teacher would make us sing solos.
In actual fact, ballet was fine, singing was so fun as we just sang musical songs and overall, the whole day was really enjoyable, super intense and everyone was so lovely! – although afterwards I was in so much pain, ached for a couple of days (barely able to move and I had to play a Regional netball match the following day!) and I was SO tired! I’m looking forward to next Saturday a lot though as it was so motivational, and I’m trying to become the best dancer that I possibly can be and build myself up for what could possible be a big year of auditions ahead, depending on what path I choose to follow.
I hope you have had a lovely week, sorry for the lack of posts, mines been jam-packed!